You Can Love Being a Mom — And Miss Who You Were Before
- 6 hours ago
- 9 min read
Being a mom is one of the most meaningful jobs in the world — and it comes with a lot.
The mental load.
The constant feeling of being “on.”
The worry, the changes, and the quiet missing of who you were before.
All of it is valid. And so many moms feel this every single day.
That’s where Emma, founder of Better Together Occupational Therapy for Mental Health, comes in.
Emma supports moms in navigating these complex emotions and helps them reconnect with the things they need and want to do in their lives — in a way that feels practical, compassionate, and sustainable.
As a mom herself, Emma openly shares her own journey through motherhood, her lived experience with perinatal mental health challenges, what mental health occupational therapy really is, and how Better Together creates space for healing through connection and community.
Meet Emma: The Heart Behind Better Together
What inspired you to start Better Together Occupational Therapy for Mental Health?
"This has been a passion project of mine that I’ve had in the back of my head since I had my first son in 2019. When I realized there was a gap between what moms needed and what was out there, I felt like something needed to be done, and I potentially had the skillset to fill it. At that time, I had been working as an occupational therapist in the mental health field for the past 10 years, but not directly in the perinatal mental health space. To be completely honest, I never really considered having my own private practice to be something on my life bingo card, but when I saw that there really wasn’t this need being filled, I felt really pulled to do something about it. After having my son in 2019 at the beginning of Covid via a pretty traumatic birth and NICU experience, an idea popped into my head. I thought it would be cool to have a space where moms could come together and learn how to heal from similar types of experiences in a really hands-on and functional kind of way. At that time, I didn’t really have the capacity or mental space to make anything happen, business-wise, so I went back to my mental health OT job and continued life with this pipe dream. Fast forward to having my second son in 2023 and unfortunately, I really struggled with my mental health during the perinatal period again. That previous idea became a stronger passion to the point where I started researching more concrete ways to actually make it a reality-and that’s where Better Together was born! I really believe that everything happens for a reason, and if my journey led me here so that I could help other moms who have been or are going through similar situations that I did, then it was all worth it."
Can you share a bit about your journey into occupational therapy and what drew you to specialize in mental health?
"I always knew that I wanted to work in the mental health space within occupational therapy. I think being able to connect with people on some of the most intimate, and sometimes most vulnerable, situations or circumstances in their lives is one of the most special things, and I don’t take that lightly. The thing about mental health is that it affects everything else in a person‘s life-for better or for worse. So many physical health issues either impact greatly or stem from mental health related struggles, and I think without addressing that aspect of a person‘s well-being we’re really doing our patients a disservice. The unique piece about addressing mental health through occupational therapy that I really love, is that it addresses it through the things that they either need or want to do in their lives; it addresses it through what a person finds meaningful or valuable. Occupational therapy is able to meet with a person who is struggling with anxiety, for example, and approach it from an angle of “what kind of things is your anxiety keeping you from doing and how can we get back to doing those things?” “What kind of coping skills can we learn to overcome that anxiety to get you back to doing the things that matter most to you?” . It's a very practical, hands-on approach to mental health."
How does your background shape the way you support moms and families in your work?
"I think the personal experience that I’ve had with perinatal depression and anxiety shapes the way that I am able to support moms and families in a huge way. Of course, not every therapist needs to have gone through the exact things that their patients have. But there is definitely something deeply valuable about the lived experience."
Understanding Mental Health Occupational Therapy
Many readers may not be familiar with occupational therapy for mental health — how would you explain it in plain language?
"Occupational therapy for mental health focuses on getting people back to doing the things that they need or want to do through meaningful activities. If a person is limited based on their mental health, whether that be through a formal diagnosis or not, occupational therapy can help that person overcome any barriers that might get in the way of them living life to their fullest. For example, if someone has anxiety that is keeping them from social situations, but they either need or want to get back to doing those kinds of things, occupational therapy can help work with that person to identify coping skills or techniques to manage the anxiety so that they can get back to having healthy social relationships, and engage in social settings in a meaningful way. "
How do you integrate meaningful activities and community into your therapeutic approach?
"Meaningful activities are a part of every group that I lead. I try to identify things that matter most to my clients so that I can guide my group interventions and topics to incorporate them. Community is also at the center of what I do ( hence the focus on groups within better together). Shame and pain thrive on isolation, and evidence shows that connection and healthy relationships, including peer support, is a huge supportive factor to not only mental health healing in general, but prenatal mental health diagnoses specifically. That’s what I strive to focus on within my practice."
Perinatal Focus & Community Programs
Your offerings include prenatal, postpartum, and “Not So New” mom groups — how do those differ in purpose and experience?
"Since I recognize that motherhood exists in different phases and stages, I have different Focuses of groups. Prenatal depression is something that is a little bit less recognized, but is very real. I wanted to make sure to include a space for moms that are struggling with those emotions. The postpartum period Includes a wide range of hormones and experiences following a transformative experience (birth), so of course, I needed to have a special space for that group Of Mom’s. The not so new moms group is focused on moms of young children. They may not be in the postpartum. Any longer but still very much in need of support connection and community. Often times these moms struggle with loss of identity, isolation and other very common related issues that could be addressed through occupational therapy. I wanted to make space for them as well."
How do you help clients balance the demands of motherhood with their own mental well-being?
"I find that a lot of women really struggle with identity outside of motherhood and miss the version of who they were before baby. Many feel some guilt or shame admitting this out of fear that it makes them ungrateful or a bad mom. I really drive home the power of AND. You can be so in love with your baby, love being their mom AND miss the old version of you that had the energy and freedom to leave the house at the drop of a hat. Both things can coexist. That change of mindset can help moms take the focus away from feeling that guilt, and put the energy into balancing ways to incorporate aspects of their “old” lives into their new one. Maybe they can’t leave at the drop of a hat, but they can plan coffee dates with friends on a regular basis to keep up with old friendships and get out of the house. Balance is key! "
Why is community such a central part of your model?
"Humans are built for connection! We are wired for relationships. The evidence shows that meaningful relationships and connection with others supports healing and healthy growth, which is why my practice is primarily group- based. Stigma is another reason why I prefer groups. There is so much stigma around perinatal conditions, including self stigma that, as moms, we put on ourselves! If we shine a light on these things, it can no longer hide in the darkness and continue to isolate us. Even though groups can initially be out of some people’s comfort zones, I have yet to find someone who has not found benefit from them because of these things. There is so much power in groups!"
In your view, how can communities better support perinatal mental health overall?
"I think as a community, we need to be more vocal about it. Stigma and shame thrive in isolation and silence, so the more we can shine a light on perinatal mental health, the more we can support moms. Tell your own story, provide a platform for loved ones to tell their stories- the more we hear personal experiences with perinatal mental health, the more "real" it becomes and the more we can normalize discussion and support around it."
Philosophy & Advice
What’s one thing you wish every new parent understood about mental health before they ever became a parent?
"Parenting often brings up things within ourselves that we either didn't know we needed to, or might not have been ready to work on, mental health wise. It is the most wonderful and most challenging thing you'll ever do! I think the best advice I could give, knowing these things, is to prepare your mental health the best you can before you begin a family. I know this isn't always feasible or possible, but when it is, work on it! Go to therapy, explore any sore spots from your childhood you may have, beef up your toolbox of coping skills. This way, you will be at least a little better prepared for what being a parent will throw at you! My other piece of advice is to be aware of the supports that exist for you when the time comes to be a parent. If you're aware of them before you're in the thick of it, it can make those hard moments a little easier if/when you need to reach out for support. There's more than you might expect available!"
What advice would you give to someone who wants support but isn’t sure how to start the conversation?
"I think sometimes it's easier for people to reach out with a trusted friend, and sometimes it's easier to reach out where nobody knows you and you can feel "anonymous". Both ways are okay! Whatever feels easier for you, take that leap of faith and say "hey, I'm not sure the way to ask, but something doesn't feel right", or "I think I need some support". You can do this in person, online, via phone- the beauty of today's day and age is that there are so many options to reach out for help. Do what feels most comfortable to you! Asking for help is strength in itself."
What are some daily practices you recommend for sustaining emotional well-being — even on the hardest days?
"Start small and do something for YOU every day. It doesn't need to be an hour of silent meditation- that isn't realistic for most of us, and you want to be realistic in your intentions. It's also really important to remember that every day, our self-care and our "best" looks different. Some days, our self-care is going for a run outside. Other days, it's simply getting out of bed in the morning. Both are accomplishments, and we need to refocus our self-talk to be kind to ourselves on both types of days."
Looking Ahead
What are you most excited about for Better Together in the next year?
"I'm really excited to get several different maternal health groups up and running for moms this year- there are so many moms out there who could use the support, and I cannot wait to see where this year takes us!"
Are there collaborations or community initiatives on your radar that you think will make a difference for families?
"I am working on a collaboration with MMHI to create a prenatal depression/anxiety group that I'm excited about! I'm always in cahoots with local spots to collaborate and open to ideas from community partners, so if you have thoughts, reach out!"
How can readers connect with you — or find out more about your offerings and groups?
Follow me on Instagram @bettertogethermhot, check my website: www.bettertogethermhot.com for more info on my practice, offerings, and to book spots in groups. You can send me messages via Instagram or the contact form on my website to get ahold of me!
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