From Strength to Support: Helping Moms Heal at Every Level

We’re excited to welcome Moms Mental Health Initiative as our guest on the Evolv Blog this week!

At Evolv, we see firsthand how motherhood impacts every aspect of health — from the physical changes of pregnancy and postpartum to the mental load that comes with caring for others.

MMHI is leading the way in supporting moms through those emotional challenges, reminding every woman that she’s not alone — and that caring for your mental health is just as important as caring for your physical health.

Read more about them below! ⬇️

For readers who may be new to you — what is Moms Mental Health Initiative, and how did it all begin?

Moms Mental Health Initiative is a nonprofit dedicated to helping moms and birthing people navigate their perinatal mental health journey through peer support, resource brokering and information sharing. It was started in 2016 by two Cedarburg moms who had experienced their own perinatal mental health challenges and saw how hard it was not only to get help, but to get help that was data-backed.

They came together and built this organization on the foundation of peer support- we can get through alongside others who have walked this same path.

Was there a personal story or “aha moment” that sparked the creation of the organization?

Sarah and Becky, our cofounders, met in another peer group. When that group disbanded, they saw a gap. They also added the element of connecting people with the resources they need because their own providers had a detrimental lack of understanding surrounding perinatal mental health.

What gap did you see in support for moms’ mental health that you wanted to fill?

Too many providers were telling moms to “get more sleep” or “just drink water” to heal their mental health, when what they needed was evidence-based treatment. This is different for every person, and can include medication, therapy or higher levels of care. But the moms we knew weren’t receiving those choices, and didn’t even know to ask.

SUPPORTING MOMS IN REAL LIFE

What are some of the most common challenges you see moms facing when it comes to mental health and emotional wellbeing?

We are all hard-wired to want our children to be well, and to revel in the joy of being a new parent to a healthy baby. But what if that isn’t true? What if my baby isn’t healthy? What if I don’t feel joy? What if this feels impossible, like I’m broken and can’t do it? Those are some of the common feelings. Our society instills in us that we are supposed to be so grateful, but becoming a parent is hard. Whether it’s the first time or the fifth time, you’re adjusting to so much physically and mentally, a small person needs you constantly. If your brain chemistry and/or emotions are part of those changes, it feels shameful, overwhelming and like we’re broken.

How do you help moms feel less alone — especially those who may be struggling in silence?

Our favorite phrase is “you are not alone,” because in those moments of darkness, you can’t see that there are others in the tunnel, too. With that phrase, we light the spark to help people share what they’re going through. For example, in our Circle of Hope Facebook Group we’ve created a space where people can come in and say “I don’t feel like I am doing a good job- I feel like I’m messing up my baby because I’m just not happy.” Then, 20 moms (there are 400+ in the group) will jump on the remind them “you are the best mom for your baby” or say “I feel that way too.”

We talk very openly about our own struggles, and share stories from our community because we know that by talking about perinatal mental health conditions they lose some of their power. So, we share stories of hope on our blog and social media to take some of the stigma and shame out of these experiences.

What kinds of resources or programs do you offer to help moms get connected to support?

Everything we do is about getting moms connected to the right help for them. When you email info@mmhimke.org or send us a message on social media seeking support, our resource brokering team will reply within 48 hours. We will find out what kind of support feels right for you, and based on that, we can get you to a peer support group, therapist or other provider who can offer what you need to feel better.

Can you share a favorite success story (no names needed!) that shows the difference your work can make?

OF COURSE! Success stories are the best part of the job. 

We just received a message from a mama who reached out after having her baby- she was not only able to get into a therapist and start sorting through all of the thoughts and feelings, but she was also able to work with a prescriber to get her medication sorted out. She told us “I’ve felt amazing.”

Anyone who has had a perinatal mental health condition can tell you, to be able to say you feel amazing is a huge step forward! Another success story, which I know she won’t mind sharing because Amelia shares it herself; Amelia had a baby and was really struggling with perinatal OCD, with existential intrusive thoughts. It is so scary to have a new baby and have scary thoughts questioning whether life is worth living. Amelia reached out to us for help, was able to get the support she needed and actually just had twin baby boys without relapse!

COMMUNITY, CONNECTION & COLLABORATION

How do partnerships and collaborations — like those with local wellness businesses — help you reach and support more moms?

We always want to meet people where they are. Talking about our mental health can be intimidating. Addressing our mental health even more so. When we work with wellness businesses or others working with moms and birthing people, we have the chance to bring up mental health in a space where they are comfortable. For so many of us, getting physical therapy or going to a lactation specialist is a no-brainer- like, yes, my body or my baby needs to be healthy. But when we turn the conversation to mental health, it becomes more nuanced. If we carry shame or stigma, we may not want to ask for that help. If we can perform our duties as mothers well enough, we may not think it’s urgent to get help for our mental health. So, bringing the conversation to people, making mental health a safe topic and having our resources readily available there can help people get one step closer to feeling how they want to feel.

What’s one thing you wish every community understood about supporting mothers’ mental health?

Do I have to pick one? I guess let’s sum it up with, it’s on all of us. It’s on all of us to check in on the moms in our lives. It’s on all of us to create systems and cultures where not being okay is okay. It’s on all of us to be honest about how we’re feeling, and listen intently as someone else tells us how they are feeling. None of us can do this life alone.

How can local businesses, healthcare providers, or even friends and family members better support moms in their mental health journey?

First and foremost, just try to become someone a mom can be open with. These conditions tell us something is wrong with us, that we aren’t a good mom if we aren’t joyful or happy. Parenting is hard, pregnancy is hard. Especially for those who are in business or healthcare, take the time to ask how someone is doing, and then take the time to listen. If someone seems like they’re having a hard time, validate that! This is hard and it’s ok. If you’re really worried about someone, you can gently suggest they reach out to us or their doctor. We would love for everyone to know signs and symptoms of perinatal mental health conditions, but really at the end of the day the most important thing is helping moms know they aren’t broken. 

 EDUCATION & AWARENESS

What are some of the biggest myths or misconceptions about maternal mental health that you’re working to change? *Trigger warning*

On Medications: Psychiatric medication is often very safe for pregnancy and breastfeeding (consult your doctor, of course). It’s important to weigh the risk of not taking a medication vs. the potential risks of taking one. Mental health conditions take lives. If your life or someone else’s might be at risk by not taking your medication, it’s important to talk that through.

On Stigma and Shame: When we’re going through something that defies the cultural “norms” we can feel like we’re broken and can’t talk about it. Maternal mental health conditions are not new- but historically they were hidden away or brushed under the rug. Society tells us we’re supposed to be happy, joyful, grateful, blessed by pregnancy and postpartum. But, what if we’ve lost a pregnancy before and spend all day of a new pregnancy in abject terror? Should we feel grateful for that? If you nearly died in childbirth, but your baby is healthy, should you really “just feel lucky”? I can love my new baby AND be terrified that I made the wrong choice in becoming a parent. These transitions are BIG. 

What signs should loved ones look for that might signal a mom could use extra support?

We would always say support to the maximum extent mom will let you, no matter what, because that is protective for mental health conditions, too. But to really answer the question, we always primarily ask “how are they functioning?” 

1. Is she able to get up and go through a “normal” day without crying, without feeling anxious or worried about something you might consider a non-concern? 

2. Is she over-functioning? Yes, that can be a sign, too. 

3. Is she eating and sleeping as you would expect? 

4. Is she getting extremely mad or enraged? 

A lot of the symptoms we’d look for are not the things that show up on a screening.

Here is a really detailed page on our website that explains each condition and what they might look like! https://www.momsmentalhealthinitiative.org/symptom-checker

How do you approach breaking the stigma and starting more open conversations about motherhood and mental health?

We love to talk about our mental health! The biggest piece is just saying it out loud. We talk about how hard it can be, and that doesn’t mean we don’t love our kids. Just integrating mental health into life as we do physical health is critical.

INSPIRATION & ADVICE

What would you say to a mom who feels like she’s “supposed to have it all together” but is really struggling inside?

Mama, you are doing a great job, and it’s okay not to be okay. Not one person has it all together, and if it looks that way it’s because you’re not seeing everything. Also, you don’t have to feel this way! There is hope.

What are a few simple things moms can do today to support their own mental health — even in the middle of a busy, messy life?

Ok, people need to comment on this one, too, because we could all use more ideas! Depending on the stage of life this can look different. When my two kids were little, when my husband got home, I would go into my room in the dark, put a pillow over my head and do a complete sensory break. Maybe you walk to the mailbox alone or close the door to your room and take some long, deep breaths. If you have more time or flexibility, going for a walk is a great reset. If your kids are with you, strap them into a stroller and put music or a podcast in headphones. If you love exercise, it can help to be intentional about building that into your life. It is busy, it is messy, but do you show up better and feel like yourself more when you’ve worked out? Maybe you’re an artist- can you find 30 minutes in a week to have unbothered creation time? 

And as much as this answer can irk people, addressing your basic needs alone can help. Because it is just not good to feel like we “can’t even” shower, go to the bathroom or eat alone. If you’re really “in it” doing the bare minimum to care for yourself is self care at the most basic level.

What’s your biggest piece of advice for moms who want to prioritize themselves but feel guilty doing it?

Do it anyway. I can feel the guilt while writing this because it’s such a familiar feeling. But, every time you choose yourself, you show your kids they can do the same. When you come home from your time and are excited to see them, it’s like the sun shines again. You are important to them, and it’s okay to be important to you, too.

LOOKING AHEAD

What’s next for Moms Mental Health Initiative — any exciting projects or goals on the horizon?

Always! We are excited to add new peer support groups to the docket in the next year, which will address some critical gaps in our community. In November, look out for our Hope Sparks Healing campaign, which will be full of inspiration and light. We are also working to build education and information programs for employers to help support perinatal people in the workplace. There’s so much work to be done in perinatal mental health, we’re always working on something.

How can our readers (and the Evolv community) support your mission or get involved?

We are so grateful for you taking the time just to read this! 

If you have experienced a perinatal mental health condition and would like to share your story, we love to offer stories of hope on our blog and social media. By talking about your experience, you can help so many others realize they are not alone.

To Submit a Blog: Email casey@mmhimke.org

We rely on volunteers to provide childcare for a couple of our peer support groups, we have  a volunteer committee who plans our Summer Social event each summer and we utilize volunteers as community ambassadors for us to share our mission. 

Volunteer Information: https://www.momsmentalhealthinitiative.org/volunteer

Our work is largely fueled through generous donors- as a 501(c)3 Organization, all donations are tax-deductible. We accept single donations, monthly donations, which is a great way to spread out your giving throughout the year and many employers match donations to grow your impact. 

Donation page: https://www.momsmentalhealthinitiative.org/donate

We’re so thankful to feature Moms Mental Health Initiative and their incredible mission on our blog this week. Their work continues to make a difference for moms right here in Ozaukee County and beyond. If you or someone you know could use support, we encourage you to reach out — or simply start a conversation. Because when we lift up moms, we strengthen our entire community. 💙